Pandora Rocks

I’ve been listening to Chet Baker Radio today as I re-immerse myself in a long-tabled project. I have son Scott to thank for turning me on to Pandora. I’ve added a link so that you can check it out, but I am enjoying my Chet Baker and company as I work nearby.

The way Pandora works is that you pick an artist and they pick music they think you’ll like. You can thumbs up or down it and create your own little “radio” station. Fitting, in that Scott is taking a radio production class this semester away from Hendrix College at our excellent community college, Waubonsee Community College in Sugar Grove.

And a rambling afterthought. One of my favorite bloggers, Marsha, is soliciting view on whether her high school daughter should go away to college next year or stay at home and attend a community college. Of course, I chipped in my opinion, which I must confess is also rambling. Do y’all see a trend here? My conclusion was to weigh the pros and cons but of course this blogger is well ahead on that front.

Me, I never wanted to go to college anywhere but the University of Alabama. So, I never struggled with that decision. However, decades later when I wanted to learn design skills, I found the Advertising, Design & Illustration program at College of DuPage in Glen Ellyn was excellent and my instructors were talented as well as great teachers.

Where was I? I am supposed to be working on a “long-tabled project” and not blogging. I told you I was rambling. Add distracted to that too

Chasing Bear Bryant

“It’s not the will to win that matters - everyone has that. It’s the will to prepare to win that matters.” Paul Bear Bryant

Georgia Bulldog fans dressed themselves in black to psyche out Alabama’s Crimson Tide for the Saturday night game. Frat boys painted their shirtless bodies with black. Little did they expect the evening to turn out as more of a funeral. Bama, under Nick Sabin’s coaching, came to play and play they did, ending the first half with a 31 to zip lead. While Georgia managed to adjust somewhat the second half, the game ended 41-30. I’d say that’s a funeral.

The real story is that when the Tide rolls like this, fans dream that the new coach is chasing Bear Bryant’s legend.

In August, Forbes magazine featured Sabin on the cover with the headline, “Sports’ Most Powerful Coach.” The story begins with this question: “College football has long been a big business. But the money and control Alabama gave Nick Saban raised the stakes to an unprecedented level. Is he worth it?”

Football, and especially football in the South, is akin to religion, and I am very religious in autumn when the boys are on the field and the leaves have only begun to think about falling.

Make no mistake, Forbes is right. This is big business. As University of Alabama President Robert Witt says of the recent $500 million capital campaign, “We have had 100,000 donors in that campaign, and a major reason they support us is football.” Tight-fisted Alabama taxpayers aren’t footing the bill for Saban’s salary or the athletic program. A higher caliber of student is attracted to the university and fundraising is easier. And many faculty members have quieted their criticisms for these very reasons.

But Bulldogs, remember, the good guys always wear white (and red). Roll Tide!

Photo Note: Nicolas Bryant and his daddy were all decked out in Bama attire for Nic’s first game watched on ESPN.

Bob Barker Funds Unique Program for Drury University

Springfield, MO. It was probably one of the most unusual news or “mews” conferences Drury University ever had. You see animal rights activist and former host of “The Price is Right” Bob Barker was in Springfield on Monday to deliver in person his $1 million gift which will fund interdisciplinary classes examining animal rights. The standing-room-only crowd of students and faculty included several dozen dogs and even a few brave cats.

“I’m flattered beyond words for so many of you to be here,” said Barker to the audience who had ventured out in the middle of an ice storm.

The class will explore animal rights through various areas including religion, the environment, criminology, philosophy and biology. Barker said, “My hope is that the model is duplicated across the country.”

Barker, whose sign off for the game show was always, “Don’t forget to have your pets spayed or neutered!” graduated from Drury in 1947 with a degree in economics and started his broadcast career at a local radio station.

And in case you were wondering, my source says the four-legged attendees, some sporting Drury University bandanas, were nearly all very well-behaved.

The Price is Right for Drury University

Springfield, MO. Today, former “Price is Right” host and Drury alumnus Bob Barker will present Drury University with $1 million to establish the Bob Barker Endowment Fund for the Study of Animal Rights. “I have established endowment funds at seven of the finest law schools in the U.S. for the study of Animal Rights Law. And now, with this endowment fund at Drury University, I hope to create a model program that other undergraduate schools will enthusiastically emulate,” says Barker.

The initial course at Drury titled “Animal Ethics” will educate students about issues that directly affect the lives of animals. As a multidisciplinary class, the course will be team-taught with professors with expertise from the fields of biology, law, sustainability, psychology, criminology, philosophy, religion and anthropology.

Focus the Nation National Teach-In

From the Hartford Courant:

With an urgency — and a sense of irreverence — reminiscent of the anti-war movement of the 1960s, a group of activists from Portland, Ore., has recruited students at more than 1,000 college campuses, K-12 schools, civic organizations, church groups and private companies to conduct a massive “teach-in” on global warming Jan. 31.

Focus the Nation, the brainchild of economics Professor Eban Goodstein of Lewis and Clark College, has energized the push for possible solutions to the problem of global warming.

Here in Springfield, students, faculty and community and business leaders are planning a full day of events on Jan. 31 as Drury University hosts Focus the Nation: Nonpartisan Solutions to Global Warming. Drury University’s Hammons School of Architecture will be the location for discussions ranging from “The Science of Global Warming” to “What Would Jesus -- and Moses, and Buddha, and Muhammad -- Do?”, which will explore religious values in an environmental context. And "Fanning the Fire - The Common Good: Public Policies We Can Live With" will be a concluding panel discussion by top city leaders.

But Drury University is not the only local university involved with Focus the Nation. Missouri State University reportedly uses 15 tons of coal to power the campus for one hour, and according to the Focus the Nation Web site students will get a very accurate idea of what that looks like when trucks dump 15 tons of coal at the student union the day of the teach-in. I have no idea what 15 tons of coal looks like much less who will clean it all up, and I am so intrigued by this idea that I may have to stop by and see since MSU is in my neighborhood.

Note added after original post: A local source tells me MSU is supposed to have barrels of coal on campus to demonstrate how its energy upgrade of buildings is saving the university tons of money and cutting the area’s coal use. Drury is supposed to dump about 7 tons (not sure about the exact figure) to show the university’s 6-8 hour use of coal each day. This information differs from what is posted on the Focus the Nation Web site which may have been earlier plans. Please don't blame me if you go to either campus looking for all this coal and find things are different.

Missouri: Where Christmas is Safe

On Monday, Missouri State University’s dean of the College of Humanities ordered a 20-foot Christmas tree taken down when a faculty member reportedly said the tree showed a “a lack of sensitivity” to people of other religions.

By Thursday the Christmas tree was back up. Two big Springfield News-Leader stories later, the Christmas controversy is now happily resolved.

Before you jump to the conclusion that this was another politically-correct attack on Christmas, let me say I think it was more a case of someone eager to get the decorations up without fully involving the university community in the process. Universities are like that where consensus building is big. In the beginning, the original tree was secularized with non-religious decorations and displays from other faiths had been planned.

Missouri’s “Santa,” Gov. Matt Blunt issued a directive to state agencies that no state employee be chastised for saying “Merry Christmas.” Woo Hoo! Christmas is safe in the Show Me State.

Picking a Good College

Ironically as I checked out the results from the latest National Survey of Student Engagement, College Boy called me on his cell-phone.

I disavow the overused helicopter label but will admit this son stays in touch more than his older brother did 11 years ago. That’s a Millennial trademark by the way. This year’s findings show

“Contrary to what some educators believe, students who frequently talk with the parents and follow their advice participate more frequently in educationally purposeful activities and are more satisfied with their college experience. This is also true for students with so-called ‘helicopter parents’—those who intervened with institutional officials to solve problems their student encountered on campus.”

Approximately 313,000 randomly selected first-year and senior students at 610 four-year colleges and universities in the U. S. and Canada participated in the survey.

Other findings of note: When faculty members provide guidance and feedback on projects and papers, students are more satisfied and say they benefit more in desired ways, students who study abroad report greater gains in intellectual and personal development than peers who don’t, internship or field placement is the most powerful form of senior experience and 13 percent of first-year students have parents who frequently intervene with college officials and another 25 percent had parents who did so sometimes.

USA TODAY has a searchable database of 257 schools organized by institution type. NSSE benchmarks are compared to the average in five categories: level of academic challenge, active and collaborative learning, student-faculty interaction, enriching educational experiences and supportive campus environment. For the first time this year, some colleges and universities are sharing this typically private information with the public.

A push for greater transparency and a growing dissatisfaction with the much-hyped U.S. News & World Report rankings are perhaps behind the willingness to go public. It’s certainly a great tool in research during the search for the right college.

Here in Springfield, Mo., Drury University’s rankings are well above average in all areas for first-year students and for seniors in all but one area. In four out of five areas, Drury’s first-year student benchmarks were at least five points higher than the average for peer institutions. And that is a rather strong indication that Drury University is providing an excellent education for her students.

And in case you were wondering, CB's college, Hendrix, fared pretty good too and is a particularly supportive campus, which is very reassuring even if one is not a helicopter parent. And I swear I am not!

Ozarks Road Trip

Last weekend was Parents Weekend at Hendrix College, which regular readers may recall is where College Boy is right now. I’m never one to turn down a road trip, especially one through the Ozarks. We passed lots of cows and horses, and I suspect deer, but they weren’t out. It’s a good thing too, because deer and cars don’t mix very well. Ditto for elk, which this part of Arkansas also has.

Conway is about a three to four hour drive depending on how much stopping you do. We do a lot. I have already found a good lunch spot, Neighbor’s Mill Café in Harrison, Arkansas. On the return trip, we stopped off and took a peek at the Buffalo River, a National River, and one of the few rivers in the Lower 48 without dams along its 135-mile course, which makes for remarkably fine canoeing.

College Boy himself seemed to be happy to see us and let us treat him to dinner Friday night before he was off to spend time with friends. However, he gave his whole Saturday to us—minus time for sleeping late and a nap. While he slept, we hit the breakfast spread put on to meet faculty where we met one of CB’s professors. She and the rest of the faculty seemed pretty neat. The campus is small, compact and lovely but getting bigger. Former Sen. Bill Bradley had just visited earlier in the week to dedicate the new Wellness Center. Complete with a rock climbing wall, wood-paneled hallways and shiny marble floors, this place is a tremendous asset, and CB has a wonderful place to work out. Oh, and CB got to meet Sen. Bradley and ask him a question when the former senator spoke to CB's class, Issues in Politics: Terrorism.


CB showed us some of his world—the library, the tiny radio station where he has a weekly show—and Dad saw his room (I decided it was better that I skip this part of the tour and trusted husband’s report, which is classified). We lunched on lasagna and met the cafeteria ladies who CB says remember to ask how he did on tests and notice when he looks tired. Thank you dear ladies.

It seems for CB now the rather small enclave of the campus is his world. And yet, I feel as if he has had thrown open wide the doors to the whole world.

Campus Mental Health Front and Center

Note: Revolution Health, the folks at a new online health resource founded by AOL co-founder Steve Case, noticed my incessant blabbering about college and invited me to join in on a bloggers’ conference call about campus mental health issues. While not strictly a health blogger by nature, I was intrigued since I have a college freshman son. I’m passing along what I found out and hope that if you are a college student, or know or love one, you’ll keep this advice in mind. And check out the new Website http://www.revolutionhealth.com for I think you’ll find a wealth of good information there and at the special section devoted to college life. Also, you can listen to the hour-long discussion.

I often ask myself when son calls, “How’s he REALLY doing?” and “Would he tell me if he wasn’t handling life or school very well?” So, like many parents whose young adult child has left the nest, I wonder, "How life’s treating my son?" Since I went to the parents’ orientation I learned his campus has plenty of resources at the counseling center and even an informal “watchdog” group, which follows students who have been identified by their professors as perhaps students who might be struggling. But parents must remain connected despite the distance and the push on the part of students to enjoy this “great moment of freedom.”

A little personal background: I watched for years as my father lived out a mostly troubled life after he returned from serving in World War II. He went from VA hospital to VA hospital and from job to job. My aunt tells me that until he left home at 16 to join the Marines, he was fine. However, by the time I came along, and he had moved our little family back to Alabama, that was no longer the case. One of the earliest memories I have is of a visit to Bryce Hospital, down a long tree-lined avenue to a stark, white-columned building. The memory stops at the door and fails to unveil just what led up to my father being placed in the state mental hospital.

Back then, people would whisper, “He had a nervous breakdown.” That’s how people explained mental illness with its secretive and mysterious disappearances. No one went away for treatment or to rehab. These were still the days of electroshock to wipe away the mind’s demons. And even though electroshock therapy has managed to shed some of the stigma (can anyone forget 1975’s One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest?), today it is used for cases of severe depression and in a different manner from the days after Italian Ugo Cerletti developed the idea in 1938.

So, I was happy to participate in the call. Expert number one: Ross Szabo, Director of Youth Outreach for the National Mental Health Awareness Campaign, went to college with a bipolar diagnosis and found self-medication with alcohol didn’t work for long. Dr. Mark Smaller, Ph.D, the second expert, is a practicing psychotherapist and Director of Analytic Service to Adolescents Project as well as Director of the Neuro-Psychoanalysis Foundation in New York and London, a graduate of the University of Chicago and on the faculty at Chicago's Institute For Psychoanalysis. There were four of us bloggers (Lena from Sex and the Ivy, Therese of Beliefnet, John, me) and the moderator, Dr. Val Jones.

Szabo’s story is compelling. In January of his senior year in high school, he tried to take his life. By the following fall, he was a freshman at American University turning to alcohol to self-medicate the pain. He ended up in the hospital getting his stomach pumped from alcohol poisoning and suffered a “massive relapse.” He withdrew from college but returned and graduated in 2002 with a degree in psychology. Today, Szabo is a motivational speaker on college campuses, reaching thousands of at-risk students with his message and efforts to remove the stigma from mental illness. He has a book coming out this fall called Behind Happy Faces. His advice for students: Have a plan. Research the college and know what the counseling center has to offer. Talk it over with your current doctor if you are under care and have a plan. Stay away from drugs and alcohol. Develop a healthy lifestyle. Have a system. Sleep. Know what’s going to work.

Dr. Smaller emphasizes that going to college for the first time is a “huge transition.” This is the time “vulnerable spots in someone’s personality” may surface. According to Dr. Smaller, “Parents and students can be in denial about the intensity of this transition.” “Some students will immerse themselves in studying for awhile” and this will work. But he stresses parents should know the warning signs that may distinguish normal angst from a full-blown depression. Here they are: trouble sleeping (not sleeping intensifies any mood), eating too much or too little, social isolation, lack of concentration and a disconnect.

How do you encourage students to seek help?
Szabo says students hear a lot about alcohol at orientation but not much about mental health. He wishes colleges would “take the model on alcohol education and apply it to mental health” and add a dose of peer-to-peer contact. “Treat it as a health issue. Students may fail to seek help because of issues of trust or self-hatred Szabo says. Other excuses may be no time. But he urges them to realize the need to move beyond this attitude.

Parents must stay connected to their kids during this initial period of freedom. Visit the school if signs of distress appear. Let them know they can call. Szabo says parents don’t know what to say and that emotions are hard for many to talk about with their kids. Parents may be “frightened and just sitting down and having a conversation is alien,”he says.

With students who come to college with mental health issues already, parents have to emphasize the nature of the transition and have a “very frank discussion” with their students. Dr. Smaller says he often stays in touch with his patients and will schedule a visit at Thanksgiving just to touch base. Szabo says it boils down to “Is that student going to be cooperative?” He says that the student may come to realize, “You know I didn’t choose this problem, and I am going to have to follow treatment.” Being compliant is a hard problem. Parents must focus on health in these situations and say, “If you stick with the treatment, you’ll be able to stay in college.”

So What Do You Do If You Think A Student Needs Help?
Friends and family can do a few things if they think a student needs help, but they can’t “fix” their friend or child according to Szabo. He says one way to break through the isolation and fear of going for help is to say, “I’ll go with you to counseling. I’ll sit in the waiting room and we can talk afterward.” According to him, “15-24 year olds have the lowest rate of seeking help.”Another suggestion is to compare the brain to another part of the body. If you had a broken arm or diabetes, you likely wouldn’t hesitate to seek help. It’s a “fight with their mind,” adds Dr. Smaller. Remind the student that with time and treatment, things will improve.

Depression’s classic warning signs according to Dr. Smaller: sleep issues, lack of concentration, hopelessness, the attitude that things aren’t going to get better. Parents, if you hear this from your son or daughter, take heed.

First Empty Nest Weekend

Lest this blog take on too much of a college theme, I’ll be brief. Saturday, We helped some Drury University students and parents with the move-in process. Husband had to cajole me a bit as I still hadn’t recovered from son’s move in down at Hendrix College earlier in the week. However, after the sweaty morning was over, I was glad to have helped.

Our local paper, The Springfield News Leader, had a nice story Sunday on the letting go process in which we parents are engaging ourselves. And I smile now as I remember some of the items I carried the other day as I noted the sometimes bewildered and worried faces of moms and dads. I wanted to reach out and give them a big hug and tell them the folks at Drury will be there for their daughters or sons. But to one mom, I seriously doubt that iron you sent with your son will ever make it out of the box just like half the stuff I packed for Scott.

Good luck, parents, as we whip out the scissors and cut those apron strings.

Boo Hoo Hoo

Nope, if you thought that was I, it was some other mom or dad when we said our farewells yesterday. Son asked, “Aren’t you going to cry?” “I’ll miss you, and I’ll do it later,” I said, hoping he didn’t mind that really I had already gotten most of the crying out of my system before we even laid eyes on Hendrix College.

It was a jam-packed two days with information sessions (family had a separate 2-day schedule full enough to satisfy most helicopter parents), boxes lugged up to a third floor temporarily-shared dorm room (with a RA or resident assistant if you’ve forgotten the lingo), mad dashes to Wal-Mart and Target and a realization that I (we) are not alone in the letting go process. Dad called from Springfield and said, “I passed his room and saw Paddington Bear sitting in Scott’s desk chair. And it hit me.” This from the man who until that call had shown little of the angst to which I openly admitted.

The next days will fly by for Scott. There are classes to pick, and tomorrow he heads out on a camping and water skiing trip designed to help ease the transition and create new bonds.

Me, I have some medical appointments and that new job to find. Stay cool.

Nearly Time

How did it get so late so soon?
It’s night before it’s afternoon.
December is here before it’s June.
My goodness how the time has flewn.
How did it get so late so soon?
Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss

Part Two
It’s the ah-ha moment. I get it now. For the last month there’s been this tension and at times a snarliness that puzzled me. Nothing I did seemed to be right.

CB is pulling away, reading himself for the changes ahead, readying himself as both the driver and navigator. His dad and I are merely backseat passengers now, and he is in charge of which route to take, not us.

The procrastination too, is his way, I believe, to assert that independence.

Today's the big day. I feel as if we’re off to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. CB’s house, Martin is known as the men’s party dorm. Hendrix College doesn’t have a Greek system, but residence halls seem to take the place of sororities and fraternities and bind a mad assortment of personalities in at least one common identity. Martin is to CB as Gryffindor is to Harry Potter.

Hendrix doesn’t have a football team either. A t-shirt with the message “Hendrix Football—Undefeated Since 1961” is popular among some alumni. CB hopes the president’s idea to bring football back flops. CB says, “That’s one reason I didn’t want to go to Bama.” I swear that boy is mine, and he’s even been to a Bama game, but the Crimson didn’t wear off on him good enough. Anyway, Hendrix is exploring NCAA Division III football and that hardly compares to the Southeastern Conference, does it?

So good luck to the class of 2011, “The Harry Potter Generation,” and my fellow parents. I’ve got a box of Kleenex stashed in the car. I’ll let you know if I need them for the return trip home and we’ll see if I can follow more of Dr. Seuss’ wisdom: “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

Precious Little Time

Part One
College Boy flies out of the nest Monday, when he and I drive the 186 miles down to Hendrix College. This week has been nuts with my obsessive list of things to take, all 630 items. No, I’m just kidding. I really haven’t counted up everything, but he will carry with him a well-stocked sewing kit, first aid supplies including a thermometer since you know who won’t be around for the forehead test (hey, it’s not me this time since daddyO is better at this) and a nice little tool kit from Target and a huge roll of white duct tape which should fix just about anything from ripped clothing to car bumpers.

The worst part of this week has been trying to get CB interested in shopping for jeans. I think he’d be happy with just the shorts we bought yesterday, but doesn’t it get a little chilly around Little Rock?

We are nearly there, but now we have to round up all of the stuff and get ready to jam it in the car. I am trying feverishly to reign in my emotions as I am not normally an overly emotional person. I just want to hug him and tell him, “Don’t you dare forget me, because I love you dearly.” Yet, I’m realistic and know that I’ll have to watch the Daily Show, the Colbert Report or South Park if I need a few laughs. He won’t be around to crack his jokes.

I won’t know when he has a bad day unless he wants to call me. When I left home, I didn’t do much of that. My mom would get tired of waiting for me to call and would finally ring me up with, “I thought you’d died.” I’m good at the guilt trip but not that good.

I guess I still have a bit of work on the letting go part.

But, I have quit worrying about him waking up for class. In addition to the Sonic Boom Alarm Clock with its 12 volt bed shaker (thanks Rev. Jay for putting me on to this), he’s taking a Sony clock radio and a battery-powered alarm. I think those should be enough to wake up the roommate.

Advice for High School Seniors

Scott’s an incoming college freshman. In my quest to offer advice to those families approaching this time, I have some additional advice. Once your Einstein has narrowed the college choice down to THE one he or she will call home, be sure to send in the housing application and fees pronto or else you may find yourself in Scott’s shoes.

“I can’t believe this,” he said as he threw down the letter. “What?” I asked.
“My new dorm room is the janitor’s closet,” he answered. Of course, that’s an exaggeration. It’s a study room or lounge, and it may not even be where he ends up. And some students in the past have actually liked this setup. That is according to that letter. You guessed it. My son has been relegated to that limbo known as temporary housing.

Here’s the problem. I guess it’s kind of like being bumped from an overcrowded plane flight. Right now, Hendrix College has more bodies and too few dorm rooms. Some colleges are forced to put students in motel rooms when this happens.

“Look on the bright side,” I said. “At least you’ll be on campus.”

A Poem in Memory of?

Invincible; no, you only think so.
Immortal. Hardly.
You are the bright promise we old farts hang our stars on.
You are the better day. Funny. So full of life.
Intensely living and learning and growing.
Why did you fall? Why did life cut you down long before life wore you out?


Note: I swear I’m becoming forgetful, because I came across these words today while decluttering and can’t remember for whom they were written. I think maybe I wrote this after the shootings at Virginia Tech. How quickly that story disappeared from the nation’s radar. Now with Scottie going off to college soon, I’m again reminded of how fragile, vulnerable and precious life is. And I don’t claim to be a poet; it was just a case of a tired and sad blogger wondering why.

I took this photo of the grave of an obviously well-loved-and-lost child during a visit to Florence, Italy. Scott is holding the umbrella. It somehow seemed to fit.

Countdown to Launch

“You baby him too much,” husband said to me the other day. I couldn’t really disagree with him but felt compelled to defend myself with, “But he IS my baby.”

And that Dear Gentle Readers is where we stand on getting the kid ready to head off to college next month. Dad worries that his son won’t cut it in the real world and mom holds on trying to cushion the transition.

I suppose I could just say, “Well, he’ll either learn to handle himself or he won’t.”

But I also happen to believe that there’s no cookie-cutter approach to parenting either. What works for one kid, doesn’t necessarily work with them all. Junior didn’t come with a 600-page instruction manual or even one like the one with 240 pages that came with the Sprint cell phone husband brought home for me recently. This has all been on-the-job training. Thank goodness, there’re two of us. His yin balances my yang.

I’ll deal with my anxieties here on the blog, sorting through the issues and feelings. Husband has retreated to his floating “man cave,” a. k. a. the boat. Oh, if you have any words of wisdom, send them my way. The last time we did this was 11 years ago when elder son trotted off to school for two years, transferred for a year at home in a school change and finally spent his senior year studying in Italy.