Once You Go Gray, You Never Go Black

Sheila, February 2012

Hey I am finally somewhat of a trendsetter. For years now my hair has been gray—not that I didn’t once and only once have a fling with color. I was so warped after that experience and the hole it left in my wallet that I swore off coloring my hair as I progressively grew more and more gray.

Mad Men Betty Draper double.

Perhaps I was conditioned to give hair coloring a try at least once by those 50’s and 60’s Clairol advertisements asking, “Does she . . . or doesn’t she? Hair color so natural only her hairdresser knows for sure!” Maybe my own mother’s long time love affair with Loving Care colored my viewpoint and made me predisposed to think this is what modern, working women did when those first stray grays made their unwanted appearance.

However, Leanne Italie’s recent AP story on women with gray hair proved a bit of a validation of my choice although there are apparently quite a few other women out there for whom going gray isn’t yet a reality. Only their hairdresser knows for sure—and likely most other people for that matter. Who the heck are they kidding?

Christine Lagarde

With strong and talented women of gray like Oscar-winning actress Helen Mirren, International Monetary Fund chief Christine Lagarde, and actress and yogurt spokeswoman Jamie Lee Curtis, this gray revolution can’t help but grow, and I’m finally okay with my hair!

Awesome Birthday at Aurora Fire Department

Last Saturday the firefighters and paramedics at Aurora Fire Department Station Number 10 helped make one special birthday celebration for Nicolas Noblitt. Some months back, Nic’s mom and dad bid on the fire station birthday party at a charity auction and won. According to the firemen (I can safely say that since this station does not have women among the crew), they don’t do parties. Someone with connections made the event happen and Nic was the happy recipient.

The firemen had set up the long tables right next to the trucks. Nic wheeled around and inspected the trucks as his guests arrived. Then Lt. Matson gave everyone a tour of the station and let the kids climb up into the fire truck and sit behind the big wheel. After pizza (interrupted by a paramedics call) and birthday cake, a couple of the other firemen showed just what it takes to get dressed for a call.

What a great day! I think the grownups enjoyed the party as much as the kids. Many thanks to the Aurora Fire Department!

New Grandson

I suppose he deserves more than a quick post, but Nathaniel Trent Noblitt is one fine little guy. I suppose too that he will take the world on his own terms since he decided to come a day before the scheduled c-section for his mother. He is beautiful, with a high-pitched cry to let the world know that he requires attention--not that I have heard too much of it. That is the beauty of grandparenting. For the most part we get the fun stuff and the parents get the practical.

“Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.”

Together

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.

Helen Keller

Truck & driver from United Stationers.

After months of work to get approval from the food bank for a same-day pantry, we finally had our first distribution day this month. Thrice weekly for years we had been getting bread donations and distributing them to our residents, but this undertaking was on a definitely grander scale. We asked for permission to do a monthly distribution of food. When the only way to gain approval was as a weekly pantry, we said, “We will make it work.”

A partial pallet of eggplant & me.

The order was placed last week, volunteers from our major donor lined up, and the cherry on the top—we actually went out to the food bank and made the pickup--thanks again to our donor who provided the driver and truck. As my colleague Penny and I poked through the extra free stuff, I thought about what a long journey it had been to this point. Our purchases were fork lifted into the truck and off we went back to our property. Little did we realize what was in that pallet of produce and just how many loaves of bread were in the boxes on another pallet. But, free is free and these free items were intriguing.

As our maintenance team unloaded the truck we soon discovered that the pallet of produce was entirely comprised of eggplant. However, the cereal, rice, canned tomatoes, diced fruit, coffee, crackers, turkey sausages, and more free produce seemed just perfect.

Penny took a knife to the cabbage to clean it up a bit, and we all worked hard before our senior residents started to congregate in the lobby. We had told the residents to come at their appointed times, but excited and curious residents were already waiting for 45 minutes before we let the first person through the door—a little Serbian lady. They came, a virtual United Nations. Polish, Serbian, Bosnian, Russian, African (Eritrean, Ethiopian, Liberian, Somali). Indian, Iraqi, Iranian, Vietnamese, Mexican, Cuban, Armenian, Pakistani, Argentinean, Jamaican, and American—all united in one purpose: free food.

The beauty of this operation, and yes, it is a bit of an operation, is that our residents, particularly the senior ones, don’t have to drive, beg a ride, or hop on the bus to get to a food pantry. Fueled by increased applications for SNAP benefits a.k.a. food stamps, we wanted to supplement our residents’ food budgets. We don’t pretend to be on the scale of other local food pantries, but we share their mission—provide food to those who need it.

Angela from United Stationers staffed our last pantry.

This week’s Marian Park Food Pantry was on a smaller scale as we opened our food storage closet pantry instead of using the community room. This move cuts down on staff time. We will have three weeks with the pantry operating this way and one big distribution with fresh produce, bread, frozen meat, and whatever perishable items we can snag. Would be nice to get a freezer but we have faith we will find one.

So, if anyone ever doubts what you are able to do, listen to more from Helen Keller, “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.”
 

Retro Morning Coffee

I’ve had the General Electric 12-cup percolator for about a month. After a long-term relationship with Mr. Coffee, I find this coffee maker just right, and I’m enjoying a cup of Eight O’clock Coffee as I write this. Sorry to say, Eight O’clock Coffee rebranded its iconic red and black packaging so I’m not totally retro this morning.

Mr. Coffee never really delivered. Sure, it was coffee, but not good, hearty coffee. I tried Black & Decker and Proctor Silex. No, not right either. On a whim and after remembering Mother’s percolator, I went retro. Of course, if I really wanted to do retro right, I’d use a stovetop percolator like Paula Deen’s 8-cup percolator, about which she’s quoted as saying, “No kitchen would be complete without a nostalgic percolator.”

I have to agree. Happy Saturday!

Halloween Reflections

Yesterday, the elementary school that's catty-corner from my house set up a big Spiderman moon jump. Cars parked up and down the street, and I assumed there was a fall fair, festival, or Halloween carnival going on.

I thought back to the early 60s when I was in elementary school. The school always had a Halloween carnival. There’d be a cakewalk, fishpond, games, lots of food, and the crowning of the Halloween Princess.

One year, when I was in fourth grade, for some reason I can’t now recall, I decided to give it a shot—a surprising choice for an introvert. The way you got to be princess was by collecting pennies. The girl with the most won. For days before Halloween, I had roamed the streets near the school knocking on doors along with a friend who lived nearby. I lived in the country and had but a few neighbors to pester. Pretty much the only way to make a go at the contest was to solicit town folks. So, right after school let out, we’d drop off our schoolbooks at the friend’s house and head out on our mission.

By Halloween, with my friend’s help, I’d collected so many pennies that I thought for sure I had won. I couldn’t really enjoy any of the games, thinking instead of winning. As the pennies were counted, it soon became evident that I had been beat by a classmate—a popular girl from a wealthy family. I don’t remember what I did exactly. I just remember feeling that it was not fair that I had pounded those streets and knocked on those doors. Rightly or wrongly, I believed my classmate’s daddy had brought her title.

Years later, I enjoy this time of year and look forward to handing out candy to trick-or-treaters. But I also know that the little things in life can stick with us and color who we become and what we choose to do with our lives. I never became the popular girl. My mother worked when many mothers stayed home. My father couldn’t keep a job as a glazier, bouncing in and out of the mental hospital. I became dependable, stuck to the rules, sucked it up, went with the flow, and made a point not to cause trouble.

I wonder today what would have happened if I had won that contest? Would I be different? A risk taker perhaps? Popular? No, I don’t suppose so. Not my style. And then I think, I didn’t turn out so bad and my life has been rich enough without the title of Halloween Princess.

But every Halloween I am reminded of how I felt that day. And I know now that the little things are sometimes just as important as the big things.

Getting the Lay of the Land in Aurora, Illinois

Summer update: I’ve moved from Batavia to Aurora, Illinois, the second biggest city in Illinois. I’m two blocks away from older son, and family. Grandma Sheila, that’s what Nic calls me, can walk to baby sit these days. I promise not to become the annoying mother-in-law Marie from the TV show, Everybody Loves Raymond, to my daughter-in-law, but there are parallels like the brother who lives at home. And differences. There’s no Frank.

It’s a nice neighborhood near Aurora University. I can:

• watch the peewee football players practice after school at Freeman Elementary school across the street;
• shop at Prisco’s Fine Foods and have my groceries carried out to my car with nary a tip expected;
• go to a Blvd District neighbors’ meeting on neighborhood safety issues on Tuesday night;
• visit the Jewel, a Wal-Mart, Aldi’s, public library branch, an old-fashioned hardware store, walkin medical clinic (just in case—I really don’t want to visit this but it’s nice to know it’s there), and more nearby;
• eat at restaurants close by like the Roundhouse, an historic downtown Aurora landmark that’s recently shed the Walter Payton name;
• take classes at Waubonsee Community College’s new downtown Aurora campus (disclaimer: my son works for the college); and
• check out the farmers market every Saturday in warm weather and enjoy local musicians like the lady Patsy Cline singer who was wailing out a mean version of Crazy the day I stopped by for tomatoes.

And speaking of tomatoes, my next door neighbor has generously supplied us with the most amazingly beautiful heirloom tomatoes which certainly proves growing monster tomatoes without fertilizer is not only possible but delicious. She promised to give me tips when spring planting season rolls around.

So, I am exploring and getting the lay of the land. Can you tell I kind of like it here? Should maybe I change the name of this blog?

Pulling the Plug and Unhooking the Cable on Cable TV

It's official. I canceled the cable. I returned the cable box and remote control yesterday. Comcast is going to charge me more than I thought I would have to pay to keep the Internet and for now the phone, but I figure I will still save nearly $90 a month.

But I did discover I will have an unexpected bonus: not only will I save money but I will also save energy. According to a recent New York Times story,

Those little boxes that usher cable signals and digital recording capacity into televisions have become the single largest electricity drain in many American homes, with some typical home entertainment configurations eating more power than a new refrigerator and even some central air-conditioning systems.

So goodbye dear old cable TV box. This is the first time in over 30 years--so long that I can't even remember when cable TV came into my life--that I will be cable-less. So far, I can honestly say I don't miss it.

More Cutting the Cable TV Cable

Back in March I contemplated cutting the cable TV cord. My monthly Comcast bill is a ridiculous $178.30 for what Comcast calls its "Triple Play." Internet, land-line phone, and TV. That's it. No HBO or Showtime. Well, after yesterday, I could kick myself for not acting on my instincts earlier.

After three months I finally went out to RadioShack and brought their Indoor Amplified HDTV Antenna. I asked the fellow who helped me if the antenna worked in this area (Batavia, Illinois, is 40 miles from Chicago), and he said, "Well, I haven't seen anyone return it." That was good enough for me. When I got home son plugged it in and in a few minutes, both Scott and I were amazed at the crisp quality we saw on the Sony. We are picking up local TV stations with one notable exception. We can't  get CBS. While I watch CBS's Sunday Morning each week, I can learn to live without it for the money I will be saving.

In anticipation of this move, we have supplemented our Netflix with Hulu Plus at $7.99 a month. I haven't decided if I will drop the land-line but am leaning towards that course also. Right now I think this is a positive move since I'm heading out for a walk to Batavia's Riverwalk instead of watching Sunday Morning. More later.

Shame on St. Louis Cardinals

I just read my daughter-in-law's Facebook post about the difficulty she encountered with getting tickets to a St. Louis Cardinal baseball game in September and I'm mad.

She wrote,

Just bought tickets to a St. Louis Cardinals game in Sept. I am sad to report that even though they built that nice new stadium, there is not handicap accessible seating in the affordable seats. They wanted to charge $77 a person per ticket to be in handicap seating rather than the $24 a person for tix in the upper deck.

She commented further:  Thanks for the support. My thought way, do they charge disabled veterans this price?!! This may be one of my new missions. The Chicago White Sox had great accessible seating in the upper deck yesterday for $22 a person.

Dad & Nic at Sunday's White Sox game in affordable seats.

More:  Well, Cardinals, someone from that number you gave me just called me back and the final verdict is that NO, there are NOT accessible seats on every level. They were not built into the upper levels of the new park. And, all the $77 accessible seats are full so we would have to pay even more than that per person. Guess I've found a new mission to help kids with disabilities get affordable seats in the MLB.

Natalie has 1247 Facebook friends and is a social media marketing professional. If anyone could stand up for kids who can't stand up themselves, she's the one. I hope she has the time to pursue this mission in between taking care of little Nic and managing her business. 

So, I say shame on the St. Louis Cardinals! Sad that you have forgotten the days when a family could afford to go to a baseball game--even a family with a child in a wheelchair.

Home Invaders

Box elder bugs have invaded my home. You can see from the photo of my house that there’re a lot of the critters. While most expert advice I have read indicates that they are harmless (although one did say they can occasionally bite), they are indeed “pests.” At first I was content to merely brush them away when they crawled on me. But they are persistent, insistent on returning. I wasn’t very successful in trying to smash the offenders and thankfully so. Another expert said they can stink much as a stink bug does.

So far the best approach seems to involve the vacuum cleaner and the toilet. Could be worse. At least I am not battling bedbugs!

Cutting the Cable TV Cable

I'm investigating cutting the cable TV cord. Right now it seems like a good idea. With Netflix and the Internet as options, I truly think it's time. We watch a lot of programs via Netflix already.

Of course, I'd still like to be able to watch the local news and Tom Skilling's weather forecast on WGN. I have read about the best antennas and have one in mind: the Terk HDTVa Indoor Amplified High-Definition Antenna for Off-Air HDTV Reception. Now, I guess I will have to see what Comcast wants to charge me to continue my Internet service, which I really have no complaints about. My gripe with Comcast has to do with the outrageous price I am paying each month. Stay tuned to see how it goes.

Nicolas Turns Three

Yesterday, Nicolas (my grandson, for anyone new) turned three. It was a pretty big transition.

Those who know Nic's history (born at 26 weeks, weighed 1 lb. 12 oz, 101 days in the neonatal intensive care unit, heart surgery, brain bleeds, cerebral palsy, etc.) might like to know that this little miracle guy is still thriving and inspiring.

Seems Nic's excitement at the Fox Valley Park District caught the PR manager's eye, prompting a recent feature about Nic in the Aurora Beacon-News.

And now, with that third birthday rolling around, Nic graduates from early intervention to school. Yes, every day, big boy school with new challenges, a new team of teachers and therapists, experts and evaluations, an IEP, wheelchair, walker and Nic.

This grandma has no doubts. Nic will move forward, adapting and compensating while continuing to inspire. Way to go Nic!

Christmas Morning

Free photo collage personalized with Smilebox

Giving Thanks

Can it be nearly three months since I last posted? And why today did I decide the time was right to resume writing? I guess I am in a reflective mood, and when I get in those moods, I want to write.

Since the last post in early October I took a new job -- one helping older people get the services they need to remain living independently or in jargon it's called aging in place. I once worked in a senior center, got side-tracked with other matters, and have now returned to a job whose focus is this age group. To me, age is relative. Some of the "youngest" people occupy the oldest bodies.

Through the new job, I am becoming reacquainted with how Thanksgiving (and other holidays) may be observed among older people.

Is there a more iconic portrait of the American celebration of Thanksgiving than Norman Rockwell's Freedom From Want illustration, which was published in the Saturday Evening Post in 1943? A modern version of this scene is still repeated around the country, but I have found older people who prefer to celebrate in their own fashion. Maybe it's a free Thanksgiving meal from a local church, a meal they make themselves, or one delivered by a volunteer.

Some continue to embrace the traditional family celebration, often traveling to be with children or other relatives. Others prefer the comfort of their own homes and say traveling and adjusting to the younger crowd's schedules and ways is too much. Then, there are those for whom holidays are a stark reminder that as we age, we lose loved ones and friends. One of my older relatives tells me she "hates holidays." She humors her closest relations, though, and dutifully goes to the family farm where she grew up to spend holidays with them. I imagine her niece tells her that it wouldn't be the same without her. And it wouldn't.

What Lies Within

 "Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you'll be able to see further." Thomas Carlyle

"What lies behind us & what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nic is making great strides these days. With the help of adaptive pedals, he can ride a trike. Soon, he’ll be getting his own wheelchair. However, unless you or someone you know has a child with the sort of special needs that require wheelchairs, adaptive toys like a trike or bike, walkers, special bath equipment, braces, immobilizers, and a lot of other products, I don’t suppose you can possibly imagine how this complicates child rearing.

Not that they have time to read this, but I just want to acknowledge Nic’s parents who coordinate weekly sessions with physical therapists, meet with social workers, visit specialists, drive to aqua-therapy, travel to doctors at the Mayo Clinic for botox injections, arrange occupational and speech therapy, and call about insurance coverage, all while just trying to be a mom and dad who provide for their family.

On top of all of the above, throw in learning about Nic’s rights under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). As he approaches his third birthday, the Individualized Education Program, commonly referred to as an IEP, will become important as the blueprint for crafting educational experiences for him. And Nic’s parents will now really hone their advocacy skills.

I wish Nic’s parents and all of those other parents who perform heroically on a daily basis didn’t have to fight so hard for their children. I wish America would move closer to the spirit of these laws. But most of all I wish for Nic a life without limits.
 

Links I like:

National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities

United Cerebral Palsy: Life without limits for people with disabilities 
where there is located a link to: The State of Disability in America: An Evaluation of the Disability Experience

Lekotek: The country's central source on toys and play for children with special needs.
 
Toys R Us Toy Guide for Differently-Abled Kids

Publish Post

Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer

Well, there's not too much that makes a University of Alabama grad happier than the start of football season -- especially after last season's National Championship. Bama opens against San Jose State this Saturday minus Heisman-winning Mark Ingram, who's out due to a knee injury. It'll be interesting to see how the team adjusts.

Our family is thinking about watching the game with other Crimson Tide fans at the suburban gamewatch location in Downers Grove at a sports bar called Another Round. Wonder what Nicolas would think of multiple screaming Bama fans?

Clearing the Dust

Blow the dust off the clock. Your watches are behind the times. Throw open the heavy curtains which are so dear to you -- you do not even suspect that the day has already dawned outside. Alexander Solzehnitsyn


There’s a thick layer of dust over nearly every surface in my home. While more pressing matters have captured my attention of late, today I suddenly realized that I’m tired of dust. Today is going to be the day I attack the dust. Well, first I’m distracted a bit by this post, which is probably the lamest I’ve written in a while.

However, I suppose the dust is a metaphor – a parable in the making.

While there are always pressing matters and I am prone to distraction, there are times when the dust must be cleared before the shine can be revealed.

And like the lyrics from Jerome Kern's Pick Yourself Up, which was composed for the Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers movie Swing Time (1936),

Nothing’s impossible I have found,
For when my chin is on the ground,
I pick myself up,
Dust myself off,
Start all over again. 

Don’t lose your confidence if you slip,
Be grateful for a pleasant trip,
And pick yourself up,
Dust yourself off,
Start all over again.

Happy Saturday Dear Gentle Friends.

Place Matters: Looking for Mitford

The Amazon.com review pretty much hit the nail on the head:

Mix one part All Creatures Great and Small with two parts Lake Wobegon, sprinkle a little Anne of Green Gables and get: Mitford, the pinnacle of provincial life, where homespun wisdom, guarded tradition, and principled faith are the precepts of good living.

These days Jan Karon’s At Home in Mitford is on my car’s CD player each morning as I drive to work. I long for a place like Mitford. Small town. Southern. People care about each other. Know about each other. Not too much drama. Peaceful.

Oh well, this is fiction and I am only on the first book of the series. We will see if I stick with it beyond the first. But, I can see why it captured my attention as I explore my longing for what I call a sense of place – a place where I belong.

The National Trust for Historic Preservation offers a straightforward approach, calling sense of place:

Those things that add up to a feeling that a community is a special place, distinct from anywhere else.

In writing the blog this morning, I discovered that The National Trust for Historic Preservation has a This Place Matters Community Challenge now through Sept. 15 where you can pick a community and vote to support the community. The winner gets $25,000. 

I am throwing my support behind Orion, Illinois and its attempt to save Main Street. The folks of Orion say:

Our small community of Orion is "Rural America at its Finest!" Volunteers with Main Street Orion work tirelessly to avoid the fate suffered by other surrounding communities empty storefronts, shuttered homes, devalued properties, crumbling infrastructure, and shrinking population. Can it happen in Orion, too? Yes, and it has, to some extent.

The way the challenge works is communities "rally as many people around the grassroots issues of preservation in our communities as possible. This means that unlike a traditional voting-contest, participants are allowed to align themselves with one organization, one time throughout the Challenge and recruit as many people as possible to do the same."

Here's how to help Orion. Join me and see if we can help them out. After all, it's the neighborly thing to do.

And I’ll let you know when I get to my Mitford.

Happy Saturday!

PS Here is a Flickr Slideshow about the project

Mr. Obama and the Ceremonial Gulf Coast Vacation

Don’t get me wrong. I applaud President Obama’s mini-vacation trip to Panama City Beach, Florida, USA. But when I read, according to the New York Times, that the trip was scheduled to last a mere 27 hours and that after a quick three-day fundraising trip, the First Family would be taking a 10-day vacation on Martha’s Vineyard in Massachusetts, I wondered, “what if?”

What if the Obama family had decided to stay in Florida longer? Wouldn’t that have really set the tone for Gulf Coast tourism recovery?

Y’all regulars know I’m a Yellow-Dog Democrat with Alabama roots, but I am looking for President Obama to step up to the plate in a grander way. Yes, it is a beginning, but as they say in the South, “It’s a day late and a dollar short.” Hey, I even wondered why didn’t Mr. Obama’s Press Secretary Bobby Gibbs, a native of Auburn, Alabama, tell the planners that surely they could have come up with a day or two more activities besides miniature golf and a dip in the water? Well, what do I know about how Washington operates? Anyway, Gibbs seems a little on the outs right now. But I’ll betcha he visited PC when he was growing up.

Of course, I am a bit prejudiced when it comes to the Panhandle since that’s where my family took vacations back when you could run barefoot out of your beachside motel room on to the prettiest, white sandy beaches. Maybe the Redneck Riviera pales in comparison to the French Riviera. Since I’ve never been there, can’t say for sure. But I sure enough love this area.

I do know that there’re enough activities to fill a few more hours than 27. Just take PC alone. The Obamas could have boated over to the remote Shell Island (watching out for sunburn), gone go-carting, golfed for real, and shopped the beach-front souvenir shops.

Later, they could have motorcaded over to Destin, self-dubbed the “World’s Luckiest Fishing Village,” and President Obama could have gone deep-sea fishing while Mrs. Obama and Sasha hit Silver Sands Factory Stores outlet mall, whose tagline is “the nation’s largest designer outlet center.” Since this was family time, they would have had to skip the bar scene, which has duly earned its reputation as a spring break mecca.

When you are president, you just naturally can’t do anything right it seems. What’s that expression? Some attribute it to Abraham Lincoln and others to John Lydgate. “You can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.”

Happy Sunday!