What Lies Within

 "Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you'll be able to see further." Thomas Carlyle

"What lies behind us & what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nic is making great strides these days. With the help of adaptive pedals, he can ride a trike. Soon, he’ll be getting his own wheelchair. However, unless you or someone you know has a child with the sort of special needs that require wheelchairs, adaptive toys like a trike or bike, walkers, special bath equipment, braces, immobilizers, and a lot of other products, I don’t suppose you can possibly imagine how this complicates child rearing.

Not that they have time to read this, but I just want to acknowledge Nic’s parents who coordinate weekly sessions with physical therapists, meet with social workers, visit specialists, drive to aqua-therapy, travel to doctors at the Mayo Clinic for botox injections, arrange occupational and speech therapy, and call about insurance coverage, all while just trying to be a mom and dad who provide for their family.

On top of all of the above, throw in learning about Nic’s rights under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). As he approaches his third birthday, the Individualized Education Program, commonly referred to as an IEP, will become important as the blueprint for crafting educational experiences for him. And Nic’s parents will now really hone their advocacy skills.

I wish Nic’s parents and all of those other parents who perform heroically on a daily basis didn’t have to fight so hard for their children. I wish America would move closer to the spirit of these laws. But most of all I wish for Nic a life without limits.
 

Links I like:

National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities

United Cerebral Palsy: Life without limits for people with disabilities 
where there is located a link to: The State of Disability in America: An Evaluation of the Disability Experience

Lekotek: The country's central source on toys and play for children with special needs.
 
Toys R Us Toy Guide for Differently-Abled Kids

Publish Post

The world is but a canvas to the imagination.

There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly. Buckminster Fuller

Most grants and funding made to social service agencies addresses basic human needs. The not-for-profit I work for, the Humanitarian Service Project, does that too with our summer Feed the Kids Project. At Christmas time, we help families with two to three weeks of food and gifts for all of the children. And year-round our Senior Citizen Project delivers a monthly food package to needy seniors in our area.

But there is more to life than basic needs. Our Children’s Birthday Project, is described on The Common Grant Application as “an early intervention program for children ages 3-12, to bring joy and self-worth to poverty-level children on their special day at an age while they were still impressionable but before they were subject to intense peer pressure and the appeal of negative influences such as gangs.”

That’s a mouthful but what it boils down to is we think even poor kids should know their birthdays are worth celebrating!

So, we collect new toys and books, school supplies, and stuffed animals. Every box also includes what we call a party-in-a-box with all the makings of a fun birthday celebration like cake mix, frosting, paper plates, streamers, and party favors.

Now, we are hoping to include an arts and crafts kit in the birthday boxes if our donors support the idea. Arts and crafts kits with drawing and painting supplies of all kinds, craft supplies—you name it. We see it as a creative and positive opportunity to enhance the lives of our program’s children. With schools cutting back on funding for art education, I think many kids grow up failing to discover their innate creativity. And poor families just scraping by surely don’t have money left over to spend on art supplies.

All week I have been caught up with this notion. I have a growing list of ideas with over 30 suggestions so far. If any of my readers know of organizations or manufacturers who might be able to help as we get this underway, please let me know. We are a small grassroots organization, highly regarded, but also with a small staff.

I am excited about the possibility. Here is the list I have come up with so far. Wonder what I have forgotten?

Including Samuel (and Nicolas)

Including Samuel, a documentary by Dan Habib that is airing on television stations in the U.S, chronicles a family’s journey to include their disabled son in all that life has to offer. Samuel has cerebral palsy. My long-time readers may recall that my little (born Feb. 23, 2008 at 26 weeks—1 lb. 12 oz.—101 days in the NICU) grandson Nicolas has been diagnosed with cerebral palsy.

So, this film hits home. I’ve just seen the 12-minute trailer. I hope you will watch this film if you have the chance. I know I will. At least click on the link and watch the trailer.

Closer to home though, as I watch little Nic crawl around army-style on the floor, I hope for the best. Hope the therapists who say they think he will walk by “three or four” are in one sense, right—that Nicolas will walk—or wrong in that Nicolas will walk sooner. Mostly, I try not to think too much about what ifs. I know that human spirit can overcome some labels and that much is left up to Nic’s spirit and determination. He has been given a tough hand to play. Many are helping him but no one can really predict. Labels are hurtful, limiting, unfair.

And that’s why inclusion is important. Not just because to me this is personal. But because all of us need to know that we have a chance to overcome, excel, fly—to soar wherever our talents may allow us to go. To walk, run, swim, create, speak, heal, cure, invent, teach, and to participate in all the other possibilities of life.

Mind-Boggling

(Peggy is crying after losing a game of Boggle)
Hank: You’re smarter than anyone in Arlen.
Peggy: Well, woopty-doo, I’m the smartest hick in hick town.

I think Peggy Hill is on to something. Remember Peggy? King of the Hill mom and Boggle player extraordinaire, Peggy is one of my favorite animated TV moms. Of course, with two sons who were fond of Mike Judge’s Beavis and Butthead when they were growing up, it’s only fitting that I’d like Judge’s Peggy—not that I identify with her. After all, I’ve never been the Boggle Champion of Texas.

Peggy came to mind as we have been playing Boggle lately, and I have been bested all too frequently. And then I discovered a non-intimidating time waster online. You can play interactive Boggle.

Seems I remembered reading that working with words improves mental functioning. Although I refuse to join AARP, I do occasionally look at their Web site, where I recently found 10 steps to an optimal memory. Number two right after exercise was “Keep Learning.” And evidentally, playing games like Boggle and Scrabble counts toward improving memory.

So, I guess the few minutes I spent on interactive Boggle was actually time well spent. Ah heck, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Picking a Good College

Ironically as I checked out the results from the latest National Survey of Student Engagement, College Boy called me on his cell-phone.

I disavow the overused helicopter label but will admit this son stays in touch more than his older brother did 11 years ago. That’s a Millennial trademark by the way. This year’s findings show

“Contrary to what some educators believe, students who frequently talk with the parents and follow their advice participate more frequently in educationally purposeful activities and are more satisfied with their college experience. This is also true for students with so-called ‘helicopter parents’—those who intervened with institutional officials to solve problems their student encountered on campus.”

Approximately 313,000 randomly selected first-year and senior students at 610 four-year colleges and universities in the U. S. and Canada participated in the survey.

Other findings of note: When faculty members provide guidance and feedback on projects and papers, students are more satisfied and say they benefit more in desired ways, students who study abroad report greater gains in intellectual and personal development than peers who don’t, internship or field placement is the most powerful form of senior experience and 13 percent of first-year students have parents who frequently intervene with college officials and another 25 percent had parents who did so sometimes.

USA TODAY has a searchable database of 257 schools organized by institution type. NSSE benchmarks are compared to the average in five categories: level of academic challenge, active and collaborative learning, student-faculty interaction, enriching educational experiences and supportive campus environment. For the first time this year, some colleges and universities are sharing this typically private information with the public.

A push for greater transparency and a growing dissatisfaction with the much-hyped U.S. News & World Report rankings are perhaps behind the willingness to go public. It’s certainly a great tool in research during the search for the right college.

Here in Springfield, Mo., Drury University’s rankings are well above average in all areas for first-year students and for seniors in all but one area. In four out of five areas, Drury’s first-year student benchmarks were at least five points higher than the average for peer institutions. And that is a rather strong indication that Drury University is providing an excellent education for her students.

And in case you were wondering, CB's college, Hendrix, fared pretty good too and is a particularly supportive campus, which is very reassuring even if one is not a helicopter parent. And I swear I am not!

Encouraging Minority Entrepreneurship

Springfield’s Drury University and St. Louis-based investment firm Edward Jones announced a new scholarship recently targeted at minority students in southwest Missouri and northwest Arkansas but open to students throughout the country. Drury is offering 10 $10,000 scholarships for incoming freshmen and “will change the face of the university,” according to Interim President Todd Parnell. Coupled with other institutional financial aid, it will be possible for a deserving student to have his or her tuition completely covered.

Now I know this may not seem unusual for an institution of higher education to offer diversity scholarships, but it is significant for this area of the Ozarks because there are so few non-Caucasians here. Our population here in Springfield is over 90% Caucasian.

The Edward Jones Minority Scholarship Program at Drury University will open many doors. Students who receive the scholarships will also interact with local and national business leaders through Drury’s Edward Jones Center for Entrepreneurship and Innovation, and they’ll participate in internships and training with Edward Jones. Last year Drury’s Board Chairman John Beuerlein and his wife, Crystal, partnered with Edward Jones in donating the money to establish the Center, and Drury is fast enhancing its reputation for providing a great business education with an emphasis on preparing students to soar in today’s global economy.

I suspect many first generation college students will have a shot at a top-notch education because of this generosity and foresight. And this first generation college graduate thinks that’s a right fine thing.

Note: Check Drury's Web site for more information at http://www.drury.edu/index.cfm

photo: Emily Pitts from Edward Jones is charged with implementing the firm's inclusion initiative.

Advice for High School Seniors

Scott’s an incoming college freshman. In my quest to offer advice to those families approaching this time, I have some additional advice. Once your Einstein has narrowed the college choice down to THE one he or she will call home, be sure to send in the housing application and fees pronto or else you may find yourself in Scott’s shoes.

“I can’t believe this,” he said as he threw down the letter. “What?” I asked.
“My new dorm room is the janitor’s closet,” he answered. Of course, that’s an exaggeration. It’s a study room or lounge, and it may not even be where he ends up. And some students in the past have actually liked this setup. That is according to that letter. You guessed it. My son has been relegated to that limbo known as temporary housing.

Here’s the problem. I guess it’s kind of like being bumped from an overcrowded plane flight. Right now, Hendrix College has more bodies and too few dorm rooms. Some colleges are forced to put students in motel rooms when this happens.

“Look on the bright side,” I said. “At least you’ll be on campus.”

Countdown to Launch

“You baby him too much,” husband said to me the other day. I couldn’t really disagree with him but felt compelled to defend myself with, “But he IS my baby.”

And that Dear Gentle Readers is where we stand on getting the kid ready to head off to college next month. Dad worries that his son won’t cut it in the real world and mom holds on trying to cushion the transition.

I suppose I could just say, “Well, he’ll either learn to handle himself or he won’t.”

But I also happen to believe that there’s no cookie-cutter approach to parenting either. What works for one kid, doesn’t necessarily work with them all. Junior didn’t come with a 600-page instruction manual or even one like the one with 240 pages that came with the Sprint cell phone husband brought home for me recently. This has all been on-the-job training. Thank goodness, there’re two of us. His yin balances my yang.

I’ll deal with my anxieties here on the blog, sorting through the issues and feelings. Husband has retreated to his floating “man cave,” a. k. a. the boat. Oh, if you have any words of wisdom, send them my way. The last time we did this was 11 years ago when elder son trotted off to school for two years, transferred for a year at home in a school change and finally spent his senior year studying in Italy.

South Harmon Institute of Technology Wannabe

Just what we need—another college. Heck, even the good ones out there are having trouble filling the incoming class. Of course, colleges like Notre Dame and Harvard have so many applicants that they can afford to be choosy. The bulk of the other regional and national universities struggle and suffer when enrollment and credit hours fall short.

Now I know a thing or two about sending a kid to college as the regular readers here know. Scotty is off to Hendrix College in Conway, Arkansas, this August. Well, that is if he finishes getting the loans lined up. He definitely couldn’t afford to go to any college, even Diddly-Squat U, without some kind of financial aid.

So, I read with a little amusement the story in this afternoon’s Chronicle of Higher Education News Blog reporting on an Atlanta Journal Constitution story about Gwinnett College in Georgia. Never heard of the place. There are about 6 gazillion other colleges and universities, and I can’t be everywhere to know about them all. Turns out, this is a new college that the Georgia folks cooked up. Well, they had actually been some sort of satellite school for a couple of other universities, and now they are going off on their own with plenty of state funding—just not enough students.

Despite the best efforts of the recruiters in Gwinnett County who swooped down on the malls in the area among other strategies, they only have 435 students when they were thinking maybe 3,000. Oooops. One little problem could be that the college is not yet accredited and the students can’t get federal financial aid and are forced to rely on just state HOPE funds or their own resources, hardly enough to make students beat a beeline to the institution’s doors.

Hey, guys. I have a suggestion for you. Rent that movie, Accepted—the one that’s got that cute Apple Mac ad guy in it, although y’all have a better name with Gwinnett College. The name of the “institution” in the movie was South Harmon Institute of Technology.

Yet, despite smart-ass bloggers like me, I have faith that Gwinnett College will succeed. How can it help but triumph with a positive-thinking president like Daniel Kaufman. "This is not Ed's Barber College," he said recently. "We're going to grow and grow."

I’m With You Mary

Long time readers may recall that our family is sending a son off to college next fall. Scott (and I) fell in love with Berry College in Rome, Georgia, when we visited last fall. This weekend he’s visiting Hendrix College in Conway, Arkansas, by himself, and it’s looking more and more like this will be the school for him next fall. Both of these colleges are small, private liberal arts schools. His dad and I would have liked to see Scott attend our Alma Mater, The University of Alabama, but it’s a large school and we thought he’d be more at home in a small college since he attended a small high school. Plus, he’s not so keen on football, the Greek system and Alabama in general.

With the Virginia Tech shootings so fresh on my mind, I tuned in this morning to MSNBC’s morning show with Chief White House Correspondent David Gregory hosting while the network figures out what it’s going to do with the Don Imus time slot. I don’t know if he’s pulling double duty, but so far I really like Gregory and the news-heavy focus. He has good guests and asks the questions I would be asking. Since it’s so early and his kids are younger, though, I could see him saying “no thanks” to a permanent assignment.

Anyway, I digress, dear gentle readers. I happened to catch a bit of Republican strategist Mary Matalin’s appearance this morning. She’s nearly always rubbed me the wrong way until today. The talk turned to how some colleges treat students as if they were begat by she-wolves instead of having parents who cared about what was happening to their sons and daughters. Now, they didn’t say that. That’s my take on it.

Here, you take first-year students who have mostly been concerned with downloading music for their i-pods and ask that they get themselves up for early class (you old-timers know all about the Sonic Boom alarm clock episode), wash their clothes, study, eat, get along with all kinds of people (including some scary ones), manage money when mom and dad are not around to dole it out and handle all the stress that this transition from dependency to adulthood brings with it.

The term ‘helicopter parent’ has been applied to parents who overly involve themselves in this process. Matalin said, “I’m going with them (meaning her kids when they go to college).” I think my case of helicopterism is a little less extreme compared to parents who have written college essays for their kids or who contact professors with pleas to change grades or who pick the college or courses for Junior.

Yet, as I read the Wall Street Journal article, “Colleges Ward Off Overinvolved Parents” published nearly two years ago, I thought maybe something is out of kilter here. Have we gone too far toward turning our young vulnerable sons and daughters loose on the world, while as parents failing to teach them these necessary life skills? Have we instead babied them along as my elder son seems to think, rewarding each accomplishment with a gold-plated trophy?

I can talk to Scott about the routine issues: you sort the dark clothes from the light clothes, you keep track of the bank balance so you don’t run out of money, you go to class or you get behind and flunk, if you eat high-calorie food you add pounds and you will likely add the “freshman 15” no matter what and so on. His dad and I, however, can’t be there to select friends, write assignments, choose to drink or not and hold his hand through this high-stress adventure nor do we want to be. I would, however, appreciate a call if someone notices my son is not handling college life well.

We may certainly be “. . . part of a cultural shift toward more involved parenting -- which many of today’s students welcome. There are some good reasons for it. The trend reflects societal fears about campus safety, amid growing media coverage of campus murders and deaths, mounting mental-health problems, and rising alcohol and drug arrests at colleges and universities.” Again recent events come to mind, and I wonder, what did the parents know?

A University of Georgia professor laid out one of the reasons that it’s just so darned easy to become overly involved. “The cellphone, he says, has become ‘the world's longest umbilical cord.’”

When I went away to college in 1970, there were telephones and mail. No E-mails or cell phones. My mom worked and was 90 miles away. As an only child, I relished my freedom and struggled through an incompatible roommate situation, dropped Spanish, dated strange guys, got drunk for the first time. It was a wonderful time of uncertainty and exploration. My mom stepped back and let go, hard as it was for her. I hope I can do that for my younger son.

But first, is there anyone in Conway, Arkansas, who can wake up my son for class next fall?