Sunday, November 09, 2008

Awake


Awake—Omar tells her
But she sleeps and
Barely hears my voice


I’ve been spending a few minutes this morning purging. I don’t mean the definition associated with bulimia nervosa. Sorry for that image.

Yet, it might be somewhat appropriate in a subconscious way. I have thought about writing about some things that have happened in my life in the last year, each time backing away for whatever reason.

This morning as I set out to clean up the files on my computer, I found constant reminders of a previous life. Reminders of good times--photos of trips to Italy and celebrations of family events like birthdays and my son’s wedding. Amidst these pleasant occasions, I opened a letter laying out problems to be dealt with or ignored. Then a poem. Work files that hold no interest for me now. Sketches not of my making. Remnants of another’s life intertwined yet with mine but no longer of my concern.

As I choose what should be deleted, I keep coming back to the letter. Only now after weeks of contemplation, do I begin to evaluate the truth, casting away blame on one level but not another. I decide to keep the letter as a reminder to awake.

8 comments:

Sarge Charlie said...

Good luck with your letter Miss Shelia.

Palm Springs Savant said...

Sheila- I apologize I must have missed "it" but I get the gist of why you went away from the Blogosphere for awhile. Muy suggestion is to have a box of painful memories-put things in it and eep it sealed. Someday you may want to revisit it, or perhaps your kids might. But lock it all up in the meantime.

hang in there

Sarge Charlie said...

I copied this on miss bee's blog just for you...

Do you know how you can tell the toothbrush was invented in Alabama? Because if it was invented in Georgia it would be called the teethbrush. Bah-dum-bam. (sorry)

Miss Trashahassee said...

Sheila,

Your profile photo is gorgeous! I've been busy with elections and now hope to be back writing a little bit more and visiting my favorite blogs. I see I've missed a bit here ... I hope all is well for you.
BFF,
Miss T

Sheila said...

Very funny Sarge. Course I understand regional and state pride.

Palm Springs,
Thanks for getting the nuances without me being so blatant. Good advice too.

Miss T,
What have you been up to with elections? Did you "fix" those Flordia ballots for Mr. O? Missed you. Get back to writing. We need you.

Sarge Charlie said...

thanks for you warm comment miss shelia, now i am going to visit miss t, haven't seen her for a while. she must have fixed the ballots, florida folks could not have voted for mr o

Marion said...

Sheila, how beautiful you are! Yes, keep the letter. And you're not ready to write about your summer, just yet. That time will come.

A great life change for me happened about 8 or 9 years ago. And I still haven't wanted to put the experience on paper. Hang in, Sheila...it truly gets so much better.

Sheila said...

Marion,
Your words are kind and reflect the voice of experience.