I’m gonna live foreverlyrics from Fame
I’m gonna learn how to fly
I see her trimming around her flowers. It is my first chance to say anything, and I am challenged. “How are you?” I ask, and “I’m so sorry.” There, I suppose that is okay. Not profound but once I get over the awkwardness, I feel at ease again.
“I have four more treatments,” she says, “and then we’ll see. Some days I think about it a lot and some not at all. I try to keep busy. The hardest is in the morning,” she says as I listen and wonder how one gathers the resolve to face what she is facing. One day at a time seems trite but appropriate. We talk and laugh. I feel her safeness with me. She can let her fear and sadness show with me.
As my son calls out, “Mom, we’re ready to go,” I’m tempted to say, ‘Not now, son.’