Thursday, February 07, 2008
Dogs and Cats Join the Presidential Race
Politics can be ugly. Politics can be exciting. Or fun. Some disenchanted folks are even running dogs and cats for president. That upstart Daisy the Curly Cat has been drafted and I must admit that Daisy is a formidable opponent. Do you remember Morris the Cat ran for president in 1988 and again in 1992? Daisy, may I remind you that Morris did not win?
However, I brought the Monte for President campaign to light last September and want to remind everyone that this dog can hunt. Dear gentle new readers might wonder about my connections to the candidate and what’s Monte’s story. So, to recap, here goes.
Monte’s mother, a survivor of Hurricane Katrina, found herself displaced and a long way from home when she was relocated to northern Illinois. Like many other Katrina survivors, Monte’s mom depended on the kindness of strangers until she could get back on her four feet. However, she was pregnant and soon gave birth. But, this new mother could not take care of all of her offspring; and thus, my son and daughter-in-law adopted Monte. You see Monte is my granddog.
Although Monte is an English Springer Spaniel, he is true-blue American through and through. Monte is a graduate of puppy obedience school with post-graduate follow-up training with the instructor. He is generally affable and makes friends easily at the dog park. He would be a great president. Everybody’s friend so to speak.
His positions are several and worth noting: spread out on the kitchen floor ready to clean up any problems with dropped food, curled up on the sofa by the window keeping watch on the borders for possible intrusions from illegal squirrels, resting dutifully with one eye open in his crate when his master and mistress are busy with fiscal matters and running joyfully through the worst of winter’s storms.
He has vowed to accept only small donations. PetSmart, Petco, Petland and some rather big vet pharmaceutical companies have been in touch, but Monte has made it clear, he will entertain no lobbyists nor their fancy offers. In the interest of public disclosure, though, it should be noted that Monte does have a couple of vices: the weight of the world’s problems is sometimes so great that he must arise earlier than normal creatures and this of course necessitates his security detail’s attention. Another potential issue that Monte believes he should disclose is that he has a weakness for belly scratches.
As the Democrats and Republicans winnow down their candidates, Monte’s campaign team is now poised to step forward proudly with a candidate whose all four feet are firmly planted on the canine values of love, loyalty and licks. He’d be happy to have your support for the odds are a lot of fur is going to fly.
Click here to get your own Monte campaign gear.