The Little Things

When you climb the tall ladder to paint without bringing the phone with you, Monica from Dish Satellite Network keenly senses it and phones you; and you, knowing it might be that important phone call, attempt to get to the phone before the answering machine kicks on even if it nearly kills you.

You clean the garage and discover what was beneath that pile of clutter, and it’s of an animal nature.

You discover that Publix Greenwise low-fat milk from cows given no hormones will still flood over onto your feet because they filled the bottle too full. That’s OK. You haven’t taken a shower today yet. Wait a minute, did you yesterday?

You see the president of the PTA all pretty in pink with freshly coiffed hair when you run to the grocery store in paint-stained sweat pants and hair that is sadly in need of a good cut. You skirt down the aisle and hope she didn’t see you.

The GAP no longer makes that perfect pair of khaki pants, and what is more, nothing in their store appeals to you. You have outgrown their target market. You are now officially “old.”

There’s a reason Publix has so many Naturally Fresh Ginger Dressings packets for the prepared salads instead of the poppyseed dressing you really want and you spoil your fruits and nuts spring mix salad by being adventurous.

You walk past the TV tuned to CNN with President George Bush on delivering an address to the American Legion, and you hear him say after a bumbling attempt to quote a general, “That’s OK. He has a problem with English.” Laughter. A pause. “And, so do I.” You laugh. He’s all too human too, and for a brief moment, you like him.

Such is life.